Take me down to the Emerald City

Back in the 90′s HBO’s OZ was the most romantic thing on television. OZ: The roller-coaster relationship of Beecher and Keller, my hairy Romeo and Juliet. OZ: A delirious love romp through a concrete buttsex meadow. OZ: The greatest motherfucking love story ever told.

Keller: I’ll see you.

Beecher: When?

Keller: Back here. Or in heaven.

Beecher: You really think we’re gonna get into heaven?

Keller: Ah, you and me together. God doesn’t have the balls to keep us out.

Shanks for the memories.

Just thinking about it gives me the chills, much like this 14 inch OZ Dildo from TSX Toys.

"Tobias, your ass belongs to me."

It’s during those quiet moments when I’m sipping on an International House Cafe Suisse Mocha and gazing out my bay window at a magnificent sunset that..you know.. I realize I’ve just Shillengered myself on 2 feet of latex and I should probably go to the ER. That’s when I really miss OZ.