A Halloween Haiku

 

             Candy corn.

                  Like satan’s teeth you compel me.

Anti-climax.

 

 

And for those of you who don’t mind the soul-crushing letdown that is Candy Corn..

A neat recipe for a Candy Corn Dildo

The Angriest Penis in the World

 Some women like tall, dark and handsome.

Others prefer chapped, irritated, and in need of a thorough STD screening. Could you be that lucky lady? Well cue the 8-Track to Heart’s “Magic Man”, light up a Virginia Slim and give witness to the angry glory of the Cock Crazy Dildo.

The dildo Mama warned you about.

Poised like a cobra and 2 inches thick, the Cock Crazy is always ready to strike your uppity pussy when it gets too lippy.  You can’t see its “Snitches get Stitches” tattoo but as its former cellmate can attest, it is definitely there. In fact, the only reason this veiny bastard isn’t holding a 40 oz. and a sawed-off shotgun is it doesn’t have any arms. Yet.

 

Don’t look directly at its head.