Home > WTF? > I didn’t mean to turn you on.

I didn’t mean to turn you on.

If you’re ever in the mood to question the validity of the human race just check out what’s popular on Google search. Coming in at the top of our “news we didn’t want to know” category, it’s come to our attention that our top search term happens to be “cliterodectomy fantasy.” Are you shitting me? For those of you blissfully unaware of what a C-Deck entails: Screaming. Lots of screaming.

Of course, to be fair to the Arab world it could be called a “celebration of a young girl’s journey into womanhood.”  Think of it like a kind of Quinceañera..only at this party instead of getting a Promise Ring and a Hannah Montana bedspread the birthday girl gets her genitals hacked off by a family elder. Without anesthetic.

(And you thought your family traditions were awkward.)

"Thanks Grandma, You shouldn't have."

"Thanks Grandma, You shouldn't have."

So for those of you twisted ape-fucks who find the forced mutilation of young girls “fantasy material” I’ve created a important message just for you. And I hope you can read between the lines. (Wink!)

“The time has come to CUT your self OFF from the rest of society. Here come the nice men in white lab coats with something to soothe YOUR nerves. You’ll only feel a little PRICK AND then it will all be over.

pruning shears

Resistance is futile. Your struggle to remove your handcuffs will only serve to FEED your growing panic as you are hauled into the truck. IT is no use TO complain. Your IP address BEARS witness to your deviant ways, as well as the undercover officer lurking in that chat room.

 

scary bear

 

Oh, you say you don’t want a trip to the big house? THEN you need to turn that frown upside down because it’s a great place to learn a new sKILL. Why not make YOURSELF a nice new license plate? Or, you can learn how to DIEcast model airplanes. With a little elbow grease you could amASS a wHOLE new set of life skills. Dont let hope DIE!”

Suicide 

I hope I wasn’t too subtle.

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