Home > Sex Dolls, Sex Toys > The Top 7 Worst Sex Toy Ideas

The Top 7 Worst Sex Toy Ideas

These toys don’t actually exist yet (but it’s only a matter of time.)

7.  Ol’ Dirty Pocket Pussy

Need a stroker that can keep it real?  This pussy has taken on the Crips, the Bloods, the Hell’s Angels, an entire soup kitchen, a feral cat, plus a couple of Mormons and she’s still ready to freak.  Now it’s your turn, Player.

You down with ODP?

You down with ODP?

 

6. The Captain Hook G-Spotter

“Welcome to the Neverland ER. Proof of insurance, please?”

Gotta little Captain in ya?

Gotta a little Captain in ya?

 

5. Octomom Talking Love Doll

Want to hear this MILF talk sexy? Just pull the cord! (On second thought..)

"Put a baby in me..Put a baby in me..Put a baby in me.."

"Put a baby in me..Put a baby in me..Put a baby in me.."

 

4. The Love Thresher

Guaranteed to bring on one explosive farming accident..in your pants.

John Deere has an entirely new corporate direction.

John Deere has an entirely new corporate direction.

 

3.  Hipster Dildo

Pale, flaccid and totally over your pussy. (But he was into it in the early 90’s before it sold out.)

Pabst Blue Ribbon Lube sold seperately.

Pabst Blue Ribbon Lube sold seperately.

 

2. Do-It-Yourself Glory Hole Kit

This Glory Hole kit will bring a taste of the truckstop to your own home and makes a great Anniversary gift.

"Kids, this is how I met your Mother."

"Kids, this is how I met your Mother."

 

1. And the #1 worst sex toy idea of all time..Fist Me Elmo

America’s most beloved puppet comes with a can-do attitude, an infectious giggle and a box of latex gloves.

"What's your safeword?"

"What's your safeword?"

  1. Him
    August 5, 2009 at 9:20 pm

    Wowza!

    Some great awfulness there. You should check out our site — we’ve come across some sucky toys and I bet we could get along well…

  1. July 28, 2009 at 10:36 pm

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