Home > WTF? > Gapes of Wrath

Gapes of Wrath

Ahhh the anus.. what a many-splendored thing.

"I'm going in."

For most people it’s solely the continuation of the digestive tract. For others, a taboo pathway to pleasure. And then there’s some folks that like to treat it like a storage locker. Bowling pins, baseball bats, catcher’s mitts..is there anything on God’s green earth that someone won’t shove up their gaping maw? Look in on any hardcore anal forum thread and that answer will be a definitive “No”, followed by the sounds of soft weeping and prayers to Sweet Baby Jesus. Let’s take a peek:

Wants2Bfisted: Guess who just made sweet love to a size 12 cowboy boot??

GapeDaddy: YEE HAW!!!! So jealous 😦

Palin2012: how did u doo it???? pickle jar will not fit whots rong wit my anus help plz

IronRectum: “PICKLE JAR” HAhaha. Go hang out on ivillage you tourist.

Wants2Bfisted: Hey the newbies gotta start somewhere. Keep tryin, Palin! 😉

Rosebud: ER doc says my ass looks like a close-range shotgun blast. SUCCESS!

IronRectum: FIRE IN THE HOLE!!:)

Wants2Bfisted: HIGH 5!!!!!!

GapeDaddy: SO HOT. Got any pics?

Nothing against anal, but what is it that compels people to turn their assholes into a crime scene? Judging from the internet anal prolapses aren’t just for prison showers anymore. Hell, you probably can’t even walk to your mailbox without neighbor Bob trying to borrow can of crisco and a traffic cone. And where does all this ass-madness lead us? Well, to the TitanMen Ass Master, of course.

Colostomy bag, here we come!

If you thought there wasn’t a large enough market to support the existance of a butt plug with a 5 inch diameter you would be horribly mistaken. Not to say this isn’t a quality sex toy – like all good butt plugs the Ass Master features a flanged safety base. 

However, if you plan on shoving something up your backdoor that’s roughly the same width as a coffee can safety probably isn’t high on your list of priorities -unlike finding a bar stool big enough to resist being sucked into the black hole of your lower intestine. Bottoms up.

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