Back in my tween days we liked the bad boys. My bedroom walls were a testiment to rock-n-roll gunslingers who looked like they would pound you like a screen door in a hurricane. Oh, how I longed for some tattoo-laden cock wizard to appear and relieve me of my virginity. But that was so long ago and I want to see who’s making the young girls cry these days. Let’s take a look at the new generation’s “hottest popstar.” I can’t wait!

People's fastest selling issue! (In Vatican magazine stands.)

Wait a minute. Just what in the ever-loving-neutered Hell is this?  Jesus Christ, Kid. Quit looking at me like I’m a buttered corn cob.  Maybe it’s the fact that I’m not a Catholic priest but this lil’ romeo does nothing to blow up my cassock. 

Now I’m not saying this is a 25 year old chapstick lesbian masquerading as a 16 year old boy. What I am saying is if this is what makes your teenage daughter’s heart skip a beat you might as well stock up on flannel shirts and Home Depot gift cards for the wedding. (Fuck Prop 8.)

  1. No comments yet.
  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: