Archive

Posts Tagged ‘masturbator’

The Hills Have Eyes

January 18, 2010 1 comment

Have you ever wondered why they don’t make more sex toys that look like something you’d shoot on the 5th level of DOOM Resurrection? Say hello to the Concubine Masturbator. This serial killer’s fever dream comes to us from TSX Toys, a company who I assume bases their operations deep in the badlands of a nuclear testing site.

Ahhh Spring time, when a young mans thoughts turn to love and.. HOLY SHIT!

New and improved, with teeth!

If this turns you on the FBI will probably want to see the contents of your refrigerator.

Fang Job

October 28, 2009 3 comments

Is there really a man in the world that wants to feel more teeth during a blow job? I’ve never had to ask that question until I discovered the Count Cockula Fleshjack.

Count Cockula

Obviously, vampires are trendier than bacon right now thanks to shows like True Blood. I get it. Really, I do. I’ve seen better acting on Saved By the Bell and yet I watch this show with the same religous fervor that makes lonely cat ladies watch the Young and the Restless. I mean, you’d think this show’s target would be Goth chicks who compulsively snack on toilet paper, yet here I am watching the annoying little girl from “The Piano” clomp around the deep south in Keds on the off chance I might see this guy:

vampire eric

Damn you,  Sheriff of Area 5.