Archive

Posts Tagged ‘sex pillow’

Not just a pillow!

Adam & Eve, you complete me. Who else can take such a common household object and ascribe to it mystical sexual powers? Take this inflatable pillow as an example. While mere mortals can only see an “inexpensive lumbar support item”, you see opportunity

 “But wait.” say the doubters. “That just looks like a cheap inflatable pillow. Like the ones you see next to the adult diapers at the drugstore-” 

SILENCE FOOLS!” you thunder. “THAT is not “just” an inflatable pillow. THAT happens to be an Adam & Eve Inflatable LOVE pillow. Why do you not understand what your eyes cannot see?” 

“But what’s so special about this pillow?” say the doubters. (Forgive them for they know not what they do.) 

“This is a wondrous new invention that will allow you to experience sexual positions with ease!” you counter. For added effect you punctuate this statement with a mighty shake of your fist. 

“An inflatable pillow?” the doubters ask. 

“LOVE. PILLOW. ” you repeat as beads of sweat collect on your upper lip. Have they no faith? 

“But it looks exactly like every other inflatable pillow.” counter the doubters (who are now testing your once limitless patience like Satan tested our Lord.) 

You, hissing through gritted teeth now: “Its blue.” 

“Oh.” say the doubters. “But don’t other companies make blue-“ 

“Get the fuck away from me!” you blubber as a single tear rolls down your quivering cheek. 

Shhhhhh…There, there, Adam & Eve. Don’t give up hope. Just imagine what you can do with this: 

rubber ring