What sucks?

I’ll tell you what sucks. Somewhere looming high above the streets of your town lies a landfill composed of toxic, poorly-made sex toys that have no more business being near a vagina than Ricky Martin.  Look there on the horizon and you shall see a mountain of edible lubricants that taste like a sick cat’s ass. Gaze if you dare upon the endless piles of discarded cock rings designed by sadists. Behold! The hills of ugly, flesh-colored abominations designed for “her pleasure!”

Mark my words, friends. As you go on about your daily lives blissfully unaware that the landfill is growing, a tidal wave of crappy synthetic vaginas means to crush you all under it’s hideous weight. As you take your last dying breath is this really the last thing you want to see?