Archive for the ‘Sex Toys’ Category

Great-Grandmother’s Ol’ Trick Pony

December 17, 2010 1 comment

Millicent allowed herself only three great passions: Needlepoint, racism and vigorous Horse-Action.

Whoop that trick.

December 14, 2010 Leave a comment
You can imagine my relief when I found out the Size Queenz Hollow Strap-On is phthalate-free.

10 by 2 inch blades on this Impala.
It will be one less thing to mention on the way to the ER.  Now bend over and breathe into it Honey, I know we can do this.

Reptile Love

August 29, 2010 Leave a comment

There it is, a scaley centerfold laying there in the sun. Just look at that broad snout and those spiney osteroderms – what a tease. 

Fancy a death roll?

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Take me down to the Emerald City

August 19, 2010 1 comment

Back in the 90’s HBO’s OZ was the most romantic thing on television. OZ: The roller-coaster relationship of Beecher and Keller, my hairy Romeo and Juliet. OZ: A delirious love romp through a concrete buttsex meadow. OZ: The greatest motherfucking love story ever told.

Keller: I’ll see you.
Beecher: When?
Keller: Back here. Or in heaven.
Beecher: You really think we’re gonna get into heaven?
Keller: Ah, you and me together. God doesn’t have the balls to keep us out.

The greatest love story ever told.

Shanks for the memories.

Just thinking about it gives me the chills, much like this 14 inch OZ Dildo from TSX Toys.

"Tobias, your ass belongs to me."

It’s during those quiet moments when I’m sipping on an International House Cafe Suisse Mocha and gazing out my bay window at a magnificent sunset know.. I realize I’ve just Shillengered myself on 2 feet of latex and I should probably go to the ER. That’s when I really miss OZ.


Have I ever mentioned how much I love Natalie Dee?

Chernobyl Cha Cha

April 9, 2010 1 comment

Bring your geiger counter and a lead-based condom.


March 5, 2010 1 comment

Mother’s Day is coming. ~Sigh~ If only you could find her the perfect gift that combined her love of gigantic inseams and showing daddy who’s boss. If only.