Great-Grandmother’s Ol’ Trick Pony

Millicent allowed herself only three great passions: Needlepoint, racism and vigorous Horse-Action.

Pleasurists #108

Meet Frank Sinatra by Dissent-Is-Cool 

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Whoop that trick.

You can imagine my relief when I found out the Size Queenz Hollow Strap-On is phthalate-free.

10 by 2 inch blades on this Impala.

It will be one less thing to mention on the way to the ER.  Now bend over and breathe into it Honey, I know we can do this.

I used to like Ginger Ale.

Interesting factoid: If you discuss going down on a woman near a gay man he’ll shudder like you’ve just walked over his grave. If you’re wondering why, this is what he’s picturing.

OK guy who designed this thing, I think I’m getting your message. “Pussies are scary and repulsive.” Seriously, did you have to drive the point home with weeping hogwarts and a fucking bandaid? I could dwell on what I imagine your mangina to look like but that craft project would require an old distended tube sock and a glitter gun (neither of which I possess.) What I’m saying is that you have a loose caboose.

Sulu will call your shit out.

Anti-gay Arkansas School Board Member Clint McCance gets a tongue lashing from George Takei. Ahh..the irony.

Reptile Love

There it is, a scaley centerfold laying there in the sun. Just look at that broad snout and those spiney osteroderms – what a tease. 

Fancy a death roll?

 

Take me down to the Emerald City

Back in the 90’s HBO’s OZ was the most romantic thing on television. OZ: The roller-coaster relationship of Beecher and Keller, my hairy Romeo and Juliet. OZ: A delirious love romp through a concrete buttsex meadow. OZ: The greatest motherfucking love story ever told.

Keller: I’ll see you.

Beecher: When?

Keller: Back here. Or in heaven.

Beecher: You really think we’re gonna get into heaven?

Keller: Ah, you and me together. God doesn’t have the balls to keep us out.

Shanks for the memories.

Just thinking about it gives me the chills, much like this 14 inch OZ Dildo from TSX Toys.

"Tobias, your ass belongs to me."

It’s during those quiet moments when I’m sipping on an International House Cafe Suisse Mocha and gazing out my bay window at a magnificent sunset that..you know.. I realize I’ve just Shillengered myself on 2 feet of latex and I should probably go to the ER. That’s when I really miss OZ.

Show me your genitals

Jon Lajoie can shove his fist in my childhood dreams.

Pleasurists #85

The Power’s Breaking Loose by vishstudio

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #84? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #86? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday July 11th at 11:59pm PDT.

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Truth.

From the excellent Stuff No One Told Me